Let go to God.

I am writing this blog from a place of mental, emotional, spiritual and physical exhaustion. I am truly not trying to be over dramatic, I just feel like I have hit a big brick wall rather suddenly. I am feeling extremely drained and done fighting this battle. I feel like I have just about reached my breaking point and something needs to change quickly in order for me to be able to pull myself out of this slump.

Read that paragraph again...

I - hit a wall
I'm - feeling drained
I'm - done fighting
I've - reached my braking point
I - need change quickly
I - pull myself out

Hmmmm?
Have you caught the problem here?
Where is my focus? Who am I relying on?

Whether your reading this as a believer or a non believer there has to be a part of you that thinks, 'Man this women sounds pathetic.'  The truth is, your right! This women (me) is being a little self centered, self focused and self absorbed.

That first paragraph is truly how I feel sometimes. Is it right? Probably not. Can it change? Yes. But the question is how?

First I think we need to be aware of the spiritual realm. Satan likes to kick us when we're down, he sees his opportunity to make us feel unimportant, useless, worthless, broken, the list goes on and on. We also need to be aware that as women there are certain times of the month that are a lot harder then others to stay positive, focused on who we were designed to be, and what we were designed for.

Right now, in this exact moment, this is what I am doing to stand with integrity, eyes focused on God, and trying to be open to a plan that I do not yet see, I am crying. I am literally and figuratively crying. I so desperately want to please the Lord God almighty and live the life he has planned for me that I am crying tears of awe and reverence as well as crying words of thanksgiving and truth!

Life is hard, at times ridiculously, beyond all understanding, H-A-R-D! I will never pretend it's not, God himself will never pretend it's not. Jesus lived here on earth, he died a brutal death here on earth, he knows life is hard. We as humans have something special, we have a God given gift in the Bible. The Bible is full of some strong truths, those truths help is stand against the lies that Satan tries so desperately hard to feed us moment after moment, day after day. Unfortunately those truths cant stop that certain time of the month from coming, but they do still help us get through all the emotions and hormonal changes that effect our attitude and tolerance levels during that time. A childlike freedom is what I desire for us, an ability to stay focused on the truths and leave all the hard stuff at God's feet.

I was watching my kids dance the other day, it's not that uncommon and normally it wouldn't be that eventful. This time however it took place in the car, they were both buckled into their five point harness car seats. Those harnesses seriously hinder any movement in hopes of keeping them safer in the event of an accident, only limbs have mobility. So to watch my kids dance with fierce joy and excitement while buckled into a five point harness is priceless. Limbs are flying in every direction imaginable perfectly to the beat of there new favorite song. In order to keep up with the tempo they are throwing their heads from side to side laughing the whole time! This is what I want, pure, real joy, aka Freedom!

I am writing this blog more for me then for you. If you can relate then great, I hope your learning lessons along side me, but I just needed to put my sinking feeling into print. It frees me of the lies, the doubt, the worry and allows me to stand firm on the truths that set me free. I am blessed to a level I could never have imagined or even asked for, but there are times when all the other stuff still feels like too much to handle. So when that point comes, hand it over, let go to God, feel that fierce joy and excitement that can only come from the safety of knowing you have let go to a good and gracious God.

God Bless.

Shauna Redekop

In case your wondering, this is the song my kids were dancing their hearts out to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAdxaXSnMq4
Toby Mac - Eye On It

Cliche...? Yes! Lame...? Definitly not!

In the last few weeks I have been able to watch God move, not only in my own life, but in the lives of the women at church and in the community! I am extremely blessed to be apart of the women's ministry team at the church my family and I attend . It has challenged and strengthened me in ways I never thought possible, in ways I was desperate for and in many ways I didn't even realize I needed!

I have recently participated in a women's retreat put on by my church. Yearly about 75 women from my church get away to a retreat centre from a Friday to Sunday for a weekend of learning and growing. We always hope and pray that God will show up, but this year He far surpassed our expectations! This past retreat was titled, 'Redefying Beauty, Seeing Yourself Through God's Eyes'. What a huge and much needed topic for so many women?!

During one session out speaker challenged us to take sometime with God and listen to what he was saying to us individually. As I was sitting, waiting expectantly, I started writing. My hand didn't stop moving until I ran out of lines to write on. I know that non of what I wrote was from my own doing. It spoke directly to my hear and where I was at in that exact moment. When I was done reading what was written on the paper before me I knew that it was a message I was going to be sharing. I truly believe it is not just for me...

Daughter,

     I don't find parts of you beautiful, I find all of you beautiful. I know you feel that's cliché, but that doesn't prevent it from being true. I made you, I have given you a dream. I want you to be brave, trust and succeed.
     You are my daughter, my joy! You make me proud and I want everyone to know you are my child. I am completely and totally that cliché parent, accept it!
     You will face trials and tribulations, but I am your Father and will walk EVERY road with you. I was there and am here always.
     You are lost and confused because of human flaws, but the truth will always remain in me.
     Run, run to me. Do not be afraid for the Lord your God is with you until the end of the age!

                                                                                                         Your Father

These words spoke deeply to me and I pray they reach many more hearts that need to know that no matter where they are in life they have a Father who not only wants to be there for them but needs to be there for them. He is a proud, devoted, and at times an over bearing cliché Father filled with acceptance, and never ending love for you. I don't know who else needs to hear these words, but I trust they will reach the exact people they were intended for.

I am at a place in my life where I feel I am leaving some dark, and hopeless times behind. I would not be here had it not been for a ton of hard work and learning to accept that God actually wants more FOR me (not FROM me)! Life can take many turns and can pull you in many different directions, your may be in a great spot or a dark broken spot. It may feel like you have ran away too many times or that there are too many big things you have done wrong. Like the letter says God was there and is still here for you, and with you! Pray with you hands open, expectant and holding onto nothing, I guarantee he will meet you no matter what!

This is a song that has meant a lot to me as I continue to grasp how loved I truly am!
https://soundcloud.com/jennyandjameskids/cherished

God Bless

~Shauna~