Let go to God.

I am writing this blog from a place of mental, emotional, spiritual and physical exhaustion. I am truly not trying to be over dramatic, I just feel like I have hit a big brick wall rather suddenly. I am feeling extremely drained and done fighting this battle. I feel like I have just about reached my breaking point and something needs to change quickly in order for me to be able to pull myself out of this slump.

Read that paragraph again...

I - hit a wall
I'm - feeling drained
I'm - done fighting
I've - reached my braking point
I - need change quickly
I - pull myself out

Hmmmm?
Have you caught the problem here?
Where is my focus? Who am I relying on?

Whether your reading this as a believer or a non believer there has to be a part of you that thinks, 'Man this women sounds pathetic.'  The truth is, your right! This women (me) is being a little self centered, self focused and self absorbed.

That first paragraph is truly how I feel sometimes. Is it right? Probably not. Can it change? Yes. But the question is how?

First I think we need to be aware of the spiritual realm. Satan likes to kick us when we're down, he sees his opportunity to make us feel unimportant, useless, worthless, broken, the list goes on and on. We also need to be aware that as women there are certain times of the month that are a lot harder then others to stay positive, focused on who we were designed to be, and what we were designed for.

Right now, in this exact moment, this is what I am doing to stand with integrity, eyes focused on God, and trying to be open to a plan that I do not yet see, I am crying. I am literally and figuratively crying. I so desperately want to please the Lord God almighty and live the life he has planned for me that I am crying tears of awe and reverence as well as crying words of thanksgiving and truth!

Life is hard, at times ridiculously, beyond all understanding, H-A-R-D! I will never pretend it's not, God himself will never pretend it's not. Jesus lived here on earth, he died a brutal death here on earth, he knows life is hard. We as humans have something special, we have a God given gift in the Bible. The Bible is full of some strong truths, those truths help is stand against the lies that Satan tries so desperately hard to feed us moment after moment, day after day. Unfortunately those truths cant stop that certain time of the month from coming, but they do still help us get through all the emotions and hormonal changes that effect our attitude and tolerance levels during that time. A childlike freedom is what I desire for us, an ability to stay focused on the truths and leave all the hard stuff at God's feet.

I was watching my kids dance the other day, it's not that uncommon and normally it wouldn't be that eventful. This time however it took place in the car, they were both buckled into their five point harness car seats. Those harnesses seriously hinder any movement in hopes of keeping them safer in the event of an accident, only limbs have mobility. So to watch my kids dance with fierce joy and excitement while buckled into a five point harness is priceless. Limbs are flying in every direction imaginable perfectly to the beat of there new favorite song. In order to keep up with the tempo they are throwing their heads from side to side laughing the whole time! This is what I want, pure, real joy, aka Freedom!

I am writing this blog more for me then for you. If you can relate then great, I hope your learning lessons along side me, but I just needed to put my sinking feeling into print. It frees me of the lies, the doubt, the worry and allows me to stand firm on the truths that set me free. I am blessed to a level I could never have imagined or even asked for, but there are times when all the other stuff still feels like too much to handle. So when that point comes, hand it over, let go to God, feel that fierce joy and excitement that can only come from the safety of knowing you have let go to a good and gracious God.

God Bless.

Shauna Redekop

In case your wondering, this is the song my kids were dancing their hearts out to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAdxaXSnMq4
Toby Mac - Eye On It